The Cruisin' Years

I'm not sure about you, but this winter has sucked pretty hard for me. All that polar vortex crap (speaking of suck) has just about done me in. And it's made me seriously question my career choice, since the 24/7-ness of my job requires me to BE there in any weather.

Two workfriends just got back from cruises. They haven't told me what kind of entertainment they saw...but I bet it was nothing like what I'm gonna serve up for you right now. Time was, the only entertainment you had on your ship was some Italian band mixing it up with old "Amore Scusa' me"-type Italian songs and "now sounds." Maybe if the band kept you entertained enough on your cruise, you could get them to autograph their album for you as a memento to take home.

Then that band could maybe keep you entertained enough at home to fire up the old Astro-Sonic Magnavox once in a while.

Or not.

Hit any thrift store at any given time and you're bound to find at least one old cruise ship album there, autograhps and all. If you do, look 'em over. Sometimes you'll get 12 tracks of Amore Scusa' Mi...sometimes you'll get some surprises. I'm not at the stage yet where I can offer compilations, but I can offer you one track at a time for your picky-choosy pleasure. To christen this post, the Romy Formica Theme by...well, the Romy Formica Orchestra, silly! Who'd you expect? (And why's he named after the stuff your counter is made with?) Typical of the music you'd hear on a lot of cruise albums. Recorded underwater before a live audience. Or maybe just the audience was underwater:

A lot of cruise albums just have songs like The Donkey Song, from the cruise album kings, The Rolando's (The Rolando's what? You're killin' me here). WARNING: man-made animal sounds.

Some albums are more adventurous. Here's a foggy little version of Glen Campbell's hit By The Time I Get To Phoenix by Il Milionari:

Here's "Il Mil" again, with a colorful version of a Procol Harum hit. And so it was that later...they decided to sing in Italian.

Here they are doing a whole song in Italian. The song: Black Is Black, originally by Los Bravos - a Spanish group with a German lead singer. Singing in English.

Now, one of the world's shortest versions of Satisfaction, from Murolo-Salviati.

It's The Rolando's again, still with that apostrophe. But this time, maybe a little soul.

And finally, a real off-the-board choice, again by The Rolando's. I bet some of you don't remember the original. I forgot who did it when it hit in 1970 (and can't explain why I remember that). Turns out it was a group called Christie.

Bon Voyage!

The Kings Were There: Not Always Better The Second Time Around

Sometimes you're best to leave well enough alone. Canadian rockers The Kings learned that the hard way. After their breakout success with The Kings Are Here and its hit single This Beat Goes On/Switchin' To Glide, the foursome decided to cut a second album. Unfortunately, when they did, they followed Murphy's Law to the letter.

Figuring they had a good thing going, they stuck with the producer of their first album, Bob Ezrin. Ezrin had done a lot of good things for The Kings, as he had for Pink Floyd before them. Unfortunately, by the time Amazon Beach came around, Ezrin was doing things for a lot of others too, so another producer, Charles Harrison Kipps, came to fill in some of the blanks. Or attempt to. A lot of decisions Kipps made were unmade by Ezrin - and those unmakings were not always approved of by the band.

On top of that, Nimbus 9, the studio in the Toronto suburb of Yorkville where the magic was captured for The Kings Are Here had closed. Scarborough's Phase One had a lot less appeal mainly because of its location. The combination of studio and producer resulted in a product that The Kings' US label, Elektra, were less than confident about. But they pressed on, citing loyalty to Ezrin for putting them on the map.

Not even the cover of Amazon Beach escaped scrutiny. The Kings, on their page, said one of the proofs featured an image of what they thought was "over the hill biker chicks on some bad dope had taken over the city."

Despite the struggles, Elektra released the album and its single, All The Way. All The Way was a victim of Bob Ezrin's tinkering. It started out with a "playlet" of a guy going for a run on his motorcycle - something "more at home on a Pink Floyd record."

Clearly not The Kings' finest moment, Amazon Beach was never reissued. I guess it's more out of respect than anything that I don't post any tracks here. So I suggest reading the album's entire story - or better yet, listening to and even buying their other, better albums - at thekingsarehere.com.

What A Tangled Web We Weave...

Not often do I find the entire discography of a band without even trying. Apparently I did just that yesterday with these finds:

Spider has an interesting history. Lead singer Amanda Blue, drummer Anton Fig, and guitarist Keith Lentin started out in South Africa as a band called HAMMAK in the early '70s. After a few years of playing the Cape Town scene, forces (like college) convened to split the band up for a few years, but they reunited in New York and added bassist Jimmy Lowell and keyboardist Holly Knight to become Spider. As Spider, the band recorded two albums - these two - for Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman's Dreamland label.

Chinn and Chapman, as producers, gave the UK lots of hits, but here in America, are best known just for Sweet's "Little Willie" and Exile's 1977 country crossover "Kiss You All Over."

Dreamland Records didn't last long. In fact, monster label discography site Both Sides Now lists just seven albums ever released on Dreamland - and these Spider albums were the first and last, in 1980 and 1981.

After Dreamland, Spider found new life in 1982 - as well as a new name: Shanghai. Along with the new name came new keyboardist Beau Hill, and new record label Chrysalis. At the time, Chrysalis was riding high with hits by artists like Pat Benetar and The Pretenders. Unfortunately, Shanghai didn't ride the wave of success that its labelmates did, and the band ceased to exist by any name after just this album.

But fortunately, most of Shanghai are active to this day. Amanda Blue is not just involved in music..she's also a photographer and writer as well as a Core Healer with her own practice. Anton Fig, of course, has been busy most nights with a little project called The Late Show With David Letterman. Beau Hill and Keith Lentin have been busy as producers. Holly Knight's been busy writing for music TV and movies. Jimmy Lowell was last heard in a Canadian group called Fast Forward, which, like Shanghai before it, lasted just long enough for one album.

LINKS FOR FURTHER LEARNING
amandablueleigh.com
antonfig.com
keithlentin.com
beauhillproductions.com

Yo

I had the serendipity of coming across a new thrift store upon a visit to an old one. I'd heard the rumblings from a cashier of someone who'd defected to the new store: "She likes Savers." Interesting: there are only two Savers stores around here, and they're not exactly close to this Salvation Army. Sure enough, on the way to another thrift I'd intended to go to, there was the sign: a new third Savers had opened up down the road. I had to investigate.

This store's been open for about a month, so if there were any special events or celebrity appearances, I missed them. Not to say that there weren't any celebrities around:

Yo kids, let's work out.

Yep, Rocky was there. But apparently the photo shoot for the cover is as close as Sly ever got to this album...per Kid Stuff Records tradition. The real star of the album is "Rocky's Friend Ed," who as far as I know, was never in any of the Rocky movies. So Rocky and Ed must not've been very close.

The truth seems to be that this "Ed" character actually goes by the name of John Braden. John is the writer, producer, and most likely also the voice talent on this album that's connected to Rocky by only the thinnest of threads.

I don't know about fun, but there's definitely fitness involved here. Oh, and a poster, just in case you need visuals to follow along with. Rocky's not even on the poster.

I wonder how many parents "exercised" the refund policy on this record.

Sunday Pt. 2: Hustle And Whoa

Lately, anytime I have to spend $1 on a record I have to think about it. But not too hard. This is one of the albums I got for $1:

I bet you never knew that Valerie Harper had at least one thing in common with Garfireld.

Take a second to think back:

Got it? Need a hint? Rhoda.

OK, how about now?

The answer: Lorenzo Music. To Valerie Harper, he was the voice of Carlton The Doorman on Rhoda. And he was the voice of Garfield himself on the cartoon special CBS aired in the '80s. You'll hear a little bit of Lorenzo/Carlton/Garfield between the musical tracks, but the spotlight here soul legend Lou Rawls and debuting artist Desiree Goyette, who's now a religious singer/songwriter.

Deep in a shadowy world, there are strange parallels to the lives we lead. In our world, Ray Charles was the blind genius who brought us hits like Hit The Road Jack, You Don't Know Me and Georgia On My Mind. But there was another Ray Charles - a white one - who'd make a business of covering songs by the likes of the "real" Ray Charles with a chorus and strings. Cheesy listening by the Ray Charles Singers. He'd actually gone so far as to call himself "The 'other' Ray Charles" on some albums.

Also in our world, Betty White is a 91-year-old TV star who's gotten around more in the past 5 years than Sue Ann Nivens ever did. But deep in the shadows lurks another, less famous Betty White:

 

And this one's a hustler. Yes, this Betty White, not only eclipsed by her TV namesake, but also by more famous dance instructors like Arthur Murray and Fred Astaire, became a hustler later in her life to make ends meet. She hustled - and waltzed, cha-cha'd and shucked and jived her way into the lives of the unsuspecting who'd apparently mistaken her for the "real" Betty White. Maybe that's a reason why I bought this album still sealed. And the reason so few people own albums by "the other Ray Charles."

I can't imagine how many people own this album:

But I guess it can't be very many. I think that phallic-looking thermometer and his offspring scared off more than a few. But I wasn't scared. I was more intrigued. This is a European album (you can tell by the thermomter marked in Celcius) of disco instrumentals. We have TWO versions of El Bimbo (which was a big hit in 1975) and a song called Diabolic Man. Turns out I already have a couple of the songs on this album on 45s I got in a multipart, monster thrift haul I need to tell you about one day...but this album is still worth having for the cover.

EDIT: I know one other person who owns this album...but I like my cover better.

Sunday: When It's All Over

I'm as passionate about flea markets as I am about the music I find there. Both go way back with me - I think I was 5 the first time I went to a flea market - or more correctly, a farmer's market, which has meat and produce in addition to the aisles of vendors. The rule to live by in either case: come early for the parking, stay late for the deals. If you stay late enough, you may end up getting things free! Just don't go too far overboard.

A vendor left all this - just about half his space - because he didn't feel like hauling any of this back home. But who could blame him? Those 78s get HEAVY! And there were plenty of 'em, now free for the picking along with a whole lot of LPs. I didn't go for much:

Who can resist these two? Not the rarest, and not really the most playable, but it'll do - for someone. I don't think this one's gonna stay here long.

Nobody's gonna be twistin' the night away to this album. Instead, Sam Cooke sings the virtues of Mona Lisa, The Great Pretender and Venus. Produced by the prolific Hugo & Luigi In RCA Living Stereo.

Then, off to the garbage pile. Yes, even in this day and age, people throw out perectly good, playable records...just like these:

A friend of mine was shocked when I showed her this one. She remembers it pretty fondly. Google, on the other hand, barely even mentions it. Facts:

Album released in 1985
Lead singer is Ran Ballard
Face In The Mirror is the hit form this EP.

I have a thing for educational albums like this one. Ever since I found a few incredible ones from the '70s by Hy Glaser, I've been paying more attention to albums like these. This one deserves some attention: each of the tracks on here is based on a TV theme or commercial, with the lyrics rewritten for use with Lummi Sticks. You can sing and tap along! And you can still get this album direct from Kimbo Educational.

Sometimes it's no mystery why an album's been tossed. The cover says it all about this one. More specifically: Care Bears Break Dance Rap.

I'm proud of this little cover collage. I literally picked these records out of the garbage. OK, maybe one of them should've stayed in there. But that's the price of "shoot first, ask questions later." I didn't realize until I got home that I grabbed a handul of 46 late '80s/early '90s hits. Most of them are in their original covers. In addition to these, there's Guns 'N' Roses, Whitesnake, Foreigner, Springsteen, Michael Jackson, Mellencamp, Cyndi Lauper...mostly real good stuff to make up for the Milli Vanill.

And just so you think I'm not a total cheapskate...I did buy some things. I'll show you some of those next.

Saturday: Things I Bought, Things I Got

There's a difference. Although if I didn't tell you the difference album by album, you'd never know. And for what little I paid, I can hardly tell myself. These are all from the pile I took a picture of the last post.

Here's one of those compilations of songs designed to "sound like" the originals. Truth is, they rarely did. The music itself may have been similar, but the singer usually wasn't, and even some of the lyrics were changed. Pickwick was one of the prime perpetrators of these musical crimes. Its "Million Or More" series followed up "Hot Hits," where a band called Kings Road actually did a better job than some at doing cheap covers of the day's most popular songs. I specialize in this badness, so expect a feature on albums like this.

Not much bad you can say about this guy. Tony Mottola was one of the world's greatest guitar players - and not just in skill. This is one of dozens of albums he did for Enoch Light's Command and Project 3 labels.

Ferlin Husky...THIS is what country is, folks. I'm not a country guy but I couldn't let this one get past.

Kip's first live album, circa 1981. Yeah, things are a little different now, but Kip's still at it - and this album is still available (albeit with a different cover) at his website, kipaddotta.com.

This is quite the compilation here. To save you from clicking the picture, I'll tell you we've got some John Lee Hooker, Jimmy Reed, Gladys Knight & The Pips, Jerry Butler...and even an Eddie Harris track.

The grand finale, next post.

Get Him To The Greek

I might as well have called this blog 33 1/3 Revelations Per Year with the pace I update the thing. What takes so long?

Well, for one thing, there's new stuff coming in all the time. I'm just back from a trip I'll tell you about in a couple of months, maybe...and I happened to think that maybe I'd better post about my last major expedition while I'm thinking about it (again). So here it is.

They've always said New York is a melting pot: the entire world makes its home here. And there's great proof of that in the thrift stores. One in particular had just received a bunch of Greek albums. And in a moment of weakness, I grabbed a few. What would possess me to do such a crazy thing? A) they were 10 cents each, and B) I wanted to see just how many ways there were to spell the word "bouzouki." Apparently there are a lot. Oh, and C) some of the songs have titles that make them just BEG to be heard - even if you don't speak the language. Wouldn't you buy an album just for a song called "I'm Going To Smash Everything?"

These Greek albums are full of intrigue. Here's a 1974 album from...Roberto Delgado? Wow, um, OK:

I feel cheated by this one. It's 1974, disco was about to be the next big thing, and here's a song called Get Up And Do It. Did our "Greek" friend Roberto get all down and funk-ay with that bouzouki? No. It sounds almost like a belly dance. And as far as I know, belly dances aren't even Greek. Then again, neither is the name Roberto Delgado.

Duos and trios were popular:

Nothing memorable about the Trio Bel Canto. Duo Star, though, delights with cha-chas, fox trots, and even a couple of twists. One day I might get around to uploading a sample or two so you can hear them. But if not, please: no nasty comments telling me you're going to smash everything.

Polka Audio

I have a shocking confession: I was listening to polka while I was writing last night's post. You probably inferred from reading that that I'm not much into polka. So why was I listening?

Well, a couple of particular albums struck me. One not so much for its music as much as its color:

Yellow vinyl, yellow vinyl, is in my mind, and on my record player

A polka album on yellow vinyl. Who'd ever believe...? Although if I showed you the cover, maybe you could piece things together:

Maybe the Steve Meisner Band didn't just think they had a gold record, they actually made one. The way I piece it together, the color of the vinyl matches the color of the beer they were drinking. But Miller Lite? Seriously? C'mon, guys. You play POLKA. Miller Lite is not for POLKA. Neuweiler, or Schlitz, or Pabst Blue Ribbon...now THAT's for POLKA. (The caption is for you to come up with.)

Oh, did someone say Pabst?

Some record collectors unabashedly buy records just for their covers. And that's exactly how I ended up with this one. I don't even think I've listened to it. Sometimes you can tell what's coming from miles away.

Other times it's not so easy:

'Sup, polka dog?

Polka bands, ever trying to expand their audience, will sometimes go to some pretty crazy measures to do it. The first track on this one actually has RAP on it, yo! I'll have to burn it for you, so expect a return trip for this album to this blog.

Speaking of burning...

(I'll knack the fine points of lighting a shot eventually.) Just TRY to forget I showed you this. This creature will come to haunt you in your dreams. So will that typo about "Waltzs." And I don't know about you, but when I think of "A Good American Dance Band," I'm thinking more along the lines of KC & The Sunshine Band than Moostash Joe here. Must be a generational thing. I don't even think there is such a thing as a dance band anymore. It's all about DJs like David Guetta now. Even Moostash Joe himself has moved on - literally: he's doing bus tours now. Although he still sells a polka CD on his site as a reminder of the good ol' days.